Thursday, December 13, 2007

Mind Ya' Business

After hanging with a female friend a few days ago, I realized one very odd thing about young black women; they have all the knowledge in the world to notice when a guy isn't right. What makes that odd you ask…the fact that they don't apply this knowledge to their own personal lives.

Women are quick to point out the obvious flaws in other women's relationships and even do it with some pride behind their opinions. My friend and I sat up watching tv and I sat in awe listening to her go hard on one of the characters from the show we were watching. My friend was upset that the character was letting her boyfriend play her. The reason it shocked me was because my friend has let herself look foolish in a few of her past relationships, and some current ones.

On the same token another friend of mine has sat up and angrily spoke about the infidelity a mutual friend of ours is experiencing in her relationship. Her boyfriend is cheating on her and apparently not even trying to hide it. What makes my friends attitude odd is that she was a habitual cheater in her most recent relationship. She felt no need to even apologize for her own actions in her relationship, but scolded our friend for being "dumb enough to get cheated on."

It's almost some sort of karmic double standard sense given to women. They have the ability to recognize errors in relationships that they are impartial on, however they are blind to the subjective failings within their own courtship.
A lot of women like to walk around parading as if they are in the perfect relationship, when behind closed doors they truly aren't happy with the way things are going. It's even logical to think that if they front like they're happy when they really aren't, that they will at least address the issues they have with their significant other when they're out of the public eye. However, most women get so used to putting on this front for the scrutinizing public that they get caught up in their own acting abilities and forget that they have real issues to deal with.

Some women read the Essence magazine where Kim Porter stated she was content with not being married to Diddy, and all they could say is how stupid she was for staying in this dead end relationship with a known cheater. There are a million cases, both celebrity scandal and around the way gossip, where women have sat up and given their "expert" opinions on how stupid another woman is being for putting up with the relationship she's in. Oddly enough a lot of these women have been through something similar or worse. The moral of the story is, when women are led to be all up in someone else's relationship business, they really should be keeping an eye on their own.

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  1. Ant... I think you are so correct. I think some people should just mind their business. I overheard one of my sister's friend giving her advice on her marriage. Well this same chick was not married nor did she have a man. So I am wondering how she had room to give advice...

    Kudos to this post... mind ya business. LOL!

  2. I totally agree Ant! Unfortunately it is very true that we as women are very good at giving advice about other people's relationships, but when it comes to our own affairs, we are completely clueless...I have been guilty of it before. My friends call me with their relationship problems ALL of the time...and I can give some powerful advice. But one of the last situations I was in, I found myself asking other people the same questions I had answered about a week prior. Now I definitely don't agree with criticizing people and their relationships, and pointing out each his own. We all have been stupid once or twice (or three or four time...), and it's not my place to make someone feel bad because of it. I honestly don't know what it is that makes us so bad at taking our own advice. I guess emotions really can cloud your judgement.

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