Tuesday, January 26, 2010

What's Love Got To Do With It?

One thing I've never understood about women is their willingness to try to make a relationship work that just doesn't. So many women convince themselves that they are with the man of their dreams, and the manipulation, arguments, mistreatment, and belittling is just a phase. I have a lot of female friends so I hear the stories all the time about how their dude is inconsiderate, doesn't spend any time with them, he's mean, and he doesn't allow them to go anywhere, and it confuses me why a woman will stay with this type of guy.

Now don't get me wrong, no person or relationship is perfect, but if you're talking about your relationship and all you describe is a scene of negativity and verbal/mental abuse, and then follow that with, "but I love him," something is wrong. I have one friend whose boyfriend makes her feel like she's worth as much as he decides she's worth, and she swears up and down she's in love. She's as smart and capable as any girl I know, and she could get someone who appreciates her, but she continues to opt for the guy who acts like he's the catch and she should consider herself lucky to be in the relationship.

Too many women only acknowledge abuse as physical, but verbally and mentally abusive relationships can do just as much damage to a woman's psyche. When someone makes you question your self worth, or whether you're capable of finding anyone better than them, they are abusing your mind. They are trying to lower your self esteem to the point that they gain control over what you allow yourself to put up with in a relationship. This type of relationship is the kind that makes a woman stay with a guy for years because she's been convinced that she's not good enough to find anything else. The scarier part is, it's this kind of relationship that forms a pattern for the type of guy she finds herself attracted to.

I hate to see women allow themselves to be manipulated and controlled by spineless dudes. Even worse is when they confuse this abuse with love and emotion. A lot of young women go through this and it distorts their view of what a good man or a good relationship is. Women are willing to put up with a lot to make a relationship work, but stretching out a bad relationship doesn't make you a down ass chick, it makes you foolish. When a relationship consistently makes you unhappy you have to be adult enough to acknowledge that it isn't healthy and get out before it does serious damage.



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  1. Good Post! I especially gravitated to "a bad relationship doesn't make you a down ass chick, it makes you foolish", because I have seen this in a lot of women too! They feel like their dude is going through a phase and they are simply "being there" for him through the rainy day...waiting on the sunshine. But we all know, that day typically never comes.

  2. Can you guys install a "LIKE" button on the blog? Seriously...y'all are going in on these posts and I love it!