Thursday, June 23, 2011

Embrace Your Inner Whore...You'll Thank Me Later

Disclaimer: If you read this thinking like a prude, you've already failed. Proceed with an open mind.

There's a common phrase in the social media world right now that simply says, "Hoes be winning". While it might cause you to snicker a little bit, there's some truth in the statement.

Women always like to consider themselves ladies in the streets and freak's in the sheets. The problem is you're not as freaky in the sheets as you'd like to think. Somewhere along the line it became commonplace to think that simply having sex with a man was enough to leave him satisfied. But men don't always want to be JUST satisfied. Any chick on the streets with a working vagina can leave us satisfied. Sometimes we want to be wowed.

It may sound unconventional, but I'm suggesting leaving that prude, vanilla, self conscious about her body, chick outside the bedroom and inviting in that inner-whore. You want these hoe's to stop winning? You want them to stop texting your man in the middle of the night? You want those pics of naked women to stop coming through to his phone? Then dammit release your inner-whore!

Men have to release our inner-porn star from the first time we have sex with a woman...why? Because if we don't there may not be another chance. From 1st base to home plate, a man has to worry about leaving an impression. Did she fake it? Was the timing good? Was I too rough? Was she really mad I pulled her weave? Could she have used a V8?

Men have to bring out nearly everything in the arsenal right away because we're looking to do this again and we'll be damned if it doesn't happen because we don't do "that". But women have no such worry. You all can just mosey on in the bedroom lay down, let us do all the work and then complain that we're sweating too much. You can hide behind lines like "I only do that for my boyfriend" or "I don't want you thinking I'm a freak". Well news-flash, freaky time is the best time to be freaky. Men understand that, and so do hoes.

You think we like messing with hoes? Nope. They like to hold terrifyingly long conversations about non-hoe stuff. They occasionally get the girlfriend itch and put the hoeing on standby until we take them to Cold Stone. It's annoying and completely un-hoe like. Oh but when they're hoeing they can move mountains, money, ministers and mayors! They'll do all the freaky things you scoff at for none of the dates and half the effort.

So be that freak in the sheets you've always talked about. Find your inner-whore and embrace her. Stop thinking your man should be happy he got some at all. Stop thinking that being impressive in the boardroom is the only room that matters. I don't recommend promiscuity, but I do recommend losing the prude inside you. Hoes aren't afraid to round 3rd base and approach home plate with conviction to score, meanwhile you're sitting at 1st base waiting on a 90-day rule to kick in before you wow him with some missionary.

And you wonder why hoes be winning...

Facebook: Ant


  1. You are a fool for this, Baseline. You also a fool for those apostrophes in "Hoes" with no possession afterwards, lol. Aren't you an MSU ALUMNI??? Bwahahah, love ya

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  3. hahaha i realized as I was writing it, I've never written hoes so many times and I didn't know what to do...i'm on it!!

  4. The thing is I really am freaky in the bedroom but my problem is I'm always pleasing the man but it seems like there all about them being satisfied damn what about me?!

  5. These Two Minute Brotha's need to learn the art of satisfying a woman because half the time women don't even have a real orgasm! So you Brotha's don't deserve the WOW in bed because you get yours without any real effort!!!!

  6. I love a womans everything ima fucker

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